I remember having the deer in the headlights moment of inspiration/absolute sickness when I realised I was living a compartmentalized life. I had a bad case of it too. I had a job that never bled into my social life, different aspects of my social life that never coalesced – the riding friends and intuitive friends and neighborhood friends – a family that was isolated from pretty much everything… like I said, I had it bad.
Now I am sure that parts of it were age appropriate as I was learning about myself and my place in the world, but the problem was that being compartmentalized meant that I wasn’t being congruent, and if I wasn’t congruent, how could I ever be authentic?
I’ve heard it said that authenticity is the new form of enlightenment. Whether this is true or not, I find it impossible to fathom how one could reach any form of enlightenment without being authentic. Authenticity is what happens when we acknowledge ourselves without judgement, when we live in the present moment, when we can step up and out of our attachments, and when we take ownership over our own suffering. So how could I possibly by my best self if I was trying to embody different versions of my best self in different situations or with different people? The answer: I couldn’t.
Looking back, this was Part A. It came with a great deal of faith, positive self-talk, and trail and error as I learned new boundaries for personal disclosure. Not everyone wanted or needed to know that I was a psychic horse-loving reading enthusiast with a new-found addiction to bluegrass… That said, A for Effort because I had to surrender the fear of being judged, excluded or abandoned as I started living as my true self and letting those around me get a glimpse into all the different moving pieces. Part B was learning to embrace all the different parts of me; my ego, beliefs, karma, personality, desires, etc. in meaningful relationship.
Then I found Part C and it brought sweat to my brow. Authenticity = Congruence = Wholeness. Which means, there cannot be a separation between the Physical (body or reality) and the Spiritual. There cannot be a separation of the Self and the Higher Self. There cannot be a difference between where you are and where you are going, or the process and the destination. (Oh bugger.)
